Nite and Fog

December 12, 2008 at 3:34 pm Leave a comment

Vampires want darkness, monsters want souls.

I’ve been having some pretty strange nocturnal neuralizing lately.

Figure 1: Que es esto?

The night before the LSAT

I’m coming back from a bar in Santa Fe with two of my female friends (curiously, neither one is Kristin) and they want to stop somewhere to use the restroom.  The streets are empty and cobblestone.  I find this to be ominous.  After we leave the bathroom two men start following us.  I know something is about to happen, but it would also be inappropriate to just take off running.  We walk past an alley and the men run up and push us into it.  I somehow manage to scramble up a tree (???) and am perched above the scene agonizing over whether it’s better to die helping my friends or to save my self and be haunted forever by their screams.  I wake up at this point shaking, no wonder I skipped a page in the test.

Figure 2: One cannot exist while the other lives.

Night before last

I’m driving along 15-501 near the Red Lobster and the Target (how American of me) when I see two tapirs on the shoulder of the road engaged in what appears to be an epic battle to the death.  Being tapirs and thus not having much in the way of natural weaponry other than their goofy schnozes, they are violently bashing into one another with their massive bodies.  I am freaking out at this point because it appears one tapir is going to knock the other into traffic.  Just as the “losing” tapir is about to be hit by a careening SUV, the door swings open and, using its enormous prehensile proboscis, the creature grabs ahold of the handle, launches itself inside, and speeds away.  The other tapir stands by the side of the road looking rather confused and a tad embarrassed.

Figure 3: Youwannapieceame?

Last night

(…she said, oh baby don’t feel so dooooooown…)

I am headed into a Carolina basketball game.  I happen to walk by a crew filming the crowd and stop and wave into the camera. This annoys the camera man ( an older gentleman) who then pushes me and then tells me to get the hell away from his camera.  I am indignant and march up to the nearest police officer to file a report.  A management figure appears with my elderly assailant in tow.  He has started to cry.  In the back of my mind I feel bad because he is just a crotchety old man and couldn’t hurt a fly, but at the moment I’m all HOW DARE HE PUT HIS HANDS ON ME I WANT HIM FIRED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!  In the end he is demoted to filming children’s television shows (which doesn’t make sense now that I think about it) that air before 7am.  He apologizes and shuffles away sniffling and whimpering about how much he loves his job.  I feel smug.

I am good at analyzing dreams; however, in order to maintain the delusion that I am a good person, I elect to eschew any analysis at this time.

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